Fantasy · Dark Humor · Found Family · Cozy with Teeth

Kobolds, Mimics and Orcs! Oh My!

In the kingdom's deadliest dungeon, the monsters are the ones trying to survive.

Quest Log

Kobolds, Mimics and Orcs! Oh My!

Ipmeerk the kobold, Draka the orc, Zorpak the imperfect mimic, and their misfit crew spend their days dying for the entertainment of the wealthy, only to be stitched back together for the next group of adventurers.

It's a miserable job, but it's the only life they know. Resigned to their fate, they spend their days locked in the cycle of hopeless exploitation.

Everything changes when their dungeon family unexpectedly grows.

Challenged to protect an innocent life, this group of heroes must find the courage they never knew they had. Join the dungeon's most vulnerable as they try to grow teeth and fight back against a ruthless wizard and an indifferent kingdom.

Kobolds, Mimics and Orcs! Oh My! is the chaotic, darkly funny first book in the Dungeon Chaos series.

Party Select

Meet the Dungeon's Damned

They die on cue for coin they never see. It's not glamorous, but it's a family — and this crew is done rolling over.

Kobold

Ipmeerk

Professional Casualty

Small, scaly, and expendable by trade. Has died more times than most adventurers have leveled up, and somehow keeps signing up for another shift.

Respawns∞

Orc

Draka

Axe-First Diplomat

Green, enormous, and done asking nicely. Draka never wanted a family to protect, but she keeps ending up with one anyway, axe in hand and patience at zero.

Respawns∞

Imperfect Mimic

Zorpak

Furniture, Probably

Would like to be a menacing treasure chest. Is, at best, an overstuffed armchair with unfortunately hairy human feet. Enthusiasm has never once been the problem.

Respawns∞

Gibbering Mouther

Aywick

Accidental Oracle

An amorphous blob of mouths, eyes, and pig anuses, with a filter to match. Speaks in non-sequiturs and the occasional accidental prophecy. Beneath the chaos of teeth beats a heart so loyal it hurts — just don't ask about his past, because he remembers nothing of how he ended up down here.

Respawns∞

Character Sheet

Crit Happens

AuthorRadiologist

Class: Author / Radiologist MulticlassNeither class provides proficiency in handwriting.
Alignment: Chaotic Good-ishLawful when the MAN is watching.
Inventory: Approximately 3,500 books, 3,000 board games, and absolutely nowhere left to put either.
Special Ability: HyperfocusCan spend six hours researching an insignificant detail and then using none of it.
Current Quest: Write Book Two55%
Passive Ability: "Have you seen my phone? Glasses? Keys?" (always active)

The Dungeon Master

Behind the Chaos

Crit Happens has spent decades making questionable life choices — this book being one of them.

By day, he stares at medical images searching for things that absolutely should not be inside a human body. By night, he writes stories containing an alarming number of monsters that probably shouldn't be inside the human body either.

He owns far more books than he could ever read, more board games than he could ever play, and firmly believes there is always room for more. His adult children shouldn't need their childhood bedrooms anymore — surely they could stay in a hotel when they visit.

He lives with his incredibly patient wife, a menagerie of judgemental pets, and a brain that never stops asking, “Have you seen my phone? Glasses? Keys?”

Thanks for taking a chance on this book. If you laughed, cried, or developed an irrational fear of kidneys… Mission accomplished!

Your Quest Awaits

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